Betrayal of Self.
I was recently listening to a lecture on 'diseases of the heart' by a scholar and he noted how careful attention to speech is actually frighteningly damning evidence, of a specific nature, regarding the given individual's disease(s).
What he meant was that despite the sitr (veiling) that the Almighty provides for most of our individual wrongdoing - and certainly for our hidden aspects of hard-heartedness and disease - we, our very selves, can betray on our tongues the state of our hearts for all in earshot (and who have discerning minds) to know.
This adds myriad subtlties to the narration in which the prophet exhorts the individual to guard what is between the lips and between the legs to avoid the Fire. Minding the latter can often be easier to do, in a way, since it requires much deliberate, calculated, and repeatedly heedless mis-stepping. The former is much more easily lost track of - and a byproduct is the S/self-inflicted loss of Divinely guarded privacy. This is terrible given that up until one divulges oneself to others, the matter was between God and the individuals involved, regardless of the transgression.
The scholar then mentioned, in reading the advice of a previous scholar, the words of a poet who said [paraphrasing]:
"Guard your tongue from manifesting upon it the faults of others, remembering that you have faults and others have tongues...And if you ever find your eye wandering towards the faults of others say to your eye, 'oh my eye, others have eyes, too."
Examining many of these exhortations and numerous examples of the prophet's conduct, 'alayhis-salatu was-salam, with those who came to him admitting manifest and especially punishable sin, it is clear that among the objectives of Islam with regard to personal morality is the encouragement of non-publication of sinful conduct in favor of private repentance and reform.
This is crucial because the dominant culture we live in loves to "talk" about things. Islam seeks to inhibit the need/desire to share wrongdoing because Allah is eminently aware of our psychology with regard to un/consciously sought peer justification/reinforcement. There are typically only two reasons to share sin or diseased state of Self: a) truly seeking help, or b) seeking someone like oneself to serve as a virtual or literal companion in transgression.
To be sure, there is some value to having a dialogue on many otherwise internalized issues, but like all things, there is a middle path which should be sought.
Most of this could be said simpler and I love the saying of the prophet, 'alayhis-salatu was-salam, that encompasses all of this in much fewer words than I took to communicate it with less clarity:
Silence is wisdom, but so few are the wise.
What he meant was that despite the sitr (veiling) that the Almighty provides for most of our individual wrongdoing - and certainly for our hidden aspects of hard-heartedness and disease - we, our very selves, can betray on our tongues the state of our hearts for all in earshot (and who have discerning minds) to know.
This adds myriad subtlties to the narration in which the prophet exhorts the individual to guard what is between the lips and between the legs to avoid the Fire. Minding the latter can often be easier to do, in a way, since it requires much deliberate, calculated, and repeatedly heedless mis-stepping. The former is much more easily lost track of - and a byproduct is the S/self-inflicted loss of Divinely guarded privacy. This is terrible given that up until one divulges oneself to others, the matter was between God and the individuals involved, regardless of the transgression.
The scholar then mentioned, in reading the advice of a previous scholar, the words of a poet who said [paraphrasing]:
"Guard your tongue from manifesting upon it the faults of others, remembering that you have faults and others have tongues...And if you ever find your eye wandering towards the faults of others say to your eye, 'oh my eye, others have eyes, too."
Examining many of these exhortations and numerous examples of the prophet's conduct, 'alayhis-salatu was-salam, with those who came to him admitting manifest and especially punishable sin, it is clear that among the objectives of Islam with regard to personal morality is the encouragement of non-publication of sinful conduct in favor of private repentance and reform.
This is crucial because the dominant culture we live in loves to "talk" about things. Islam seeks to inhibit the need/desire to share wrongdoing because Allah is eminently aware of our psychology with regard to un/consciously sought peer justification/reinforcement. There are typically only two reasons to share sin or diseased state of Self: a) truly seeking help, or b) seeking someone like oneself to serve as a virtual or literal companion in transgression.
To be sure, there is some value to having a dialogue on many otherwise internalized issues, but like all things, there is a middle path which should be sought.
Most of this could be said simpler and I love the saying of the prophet, 'alayhis-salatu was-salam, that encompasses all of this in much fewer words than I took to communicate it with less clarity:
Silence is wisdom, but so few are the wise.
posted by Wanksta at 2:00 AM
5 Comments:
hey salaam, it *is* wack; talk about plagiarism. who would have thought there was anything even worth plagiarizing on my space? except for this here post that you forgot to remove. busted.
dude.
totally ended up reiterating your post unknowingly. Which is usually the case for the most part.
Except that I wrote it awhile ago and you beat me to the punch. yep.
Good Poast though bhai, salaams
This totally reminds me of a really important lesson my tajweed/halaqa lady taught me. She said it's important to keep your sins to yourself, because if you tell a friend or companion, they may feel compelled to "it's ok" it out of courtesy. It's pretty rare to tell someone something and have them say, "yeah, you'd better repent". Which would be awesome, but it doesn't happen. Neat post! You're linked on my blog now!
"The former is much more easily lost track of - and a byproduct is the S/self-inflicted loss of Divinely guarded privacy. This is terrible given that up until one divulges oneself to others, the matter was between God and the individuals involved, regardless of the transgression."
while i agree with most of what you have written in this post, i also think that sometimes it does become necessary to divulge information about oneself to others (usually in excruciating circumstances)...and, only the person divulging the information and God know what these circumstances are that require such a desperate need to share information. unfortunately, sometimes this includes information about other involved individuals (which is unavoidable)...
having said that, in your opinion, how many times (and in what manner) must one go about seeking forgiveness from other involved individuals about whom one has divulged previously "Divinely guarded" information before they are forgiven? (assuming the divulging of information was completely innocent and no malice or ill-will was intended)
good point, anonymous. i think the policy of non-divulgence (sp?) you quoted isn't completely hard and fast given that i agree with what you mention thereafter. while i personally cannot fathom a situation where sin must necessarily be shared, i will not deny it may need to occur for some reason or another, and Allah knows best.
that being said, i think collateral or incidental revelation of the transgression of others, unbeknownst to them, need not be openly revealed to them and one should seek forgiveness from God instead.
i feel this way because seeking out the individual's forgiveness necessitates informing them you have divulged their information and may lead to more strife than simply seeking forgiveness.
however, if your "spilling the beans" has negative repercussions, then you have to let the person know and you're at the mercy of whether he/she is smart enough to show mercy.
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